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Fixed on Fiction

Quiet by Susan Cain

On Thursday, April 9th, the Fixed on Fiction Book Group met to discuss Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Here is a summary of the book, courtesy of Goodreads:

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and introverts. Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert." This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

Interestingly, it seemed that Quiet received a so-so vote amongst nearly all of our book group members. Here are some of the comments made while readers were sharing their initial thoughts-

  • I felt like I was reading an academic essay rather than a book for pleasure. But it was interesting.
  • I thought this was a thinly veiled self-help book for introverts. She made all introverts sound like superheroes and it was too much. I did enjoy the discussion of actual science but not the rest.
  • It was about 220 pages too long. This topic is definitely a conversation starter but it was too long winded. I also thought the perspective was too narrow- very North American centric.
  • She (Cain) painted things in black and white- extroverts are not terrible people. But this book opened up a lot of discussion about personality.
  • Quiet reminded me of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus…there are some truths to that and you need both types of people.

On parts/chapters of the book that readers most enjoyed-

  • I loved the part about Moses and Aaron
  • I think there’s an interesting correlation between introversion and the rise of technology in society. Facebook, for example, allows for an unthreatening way for introverts in communicate.
  • I thought the discussion of highly reactive children (and the ties to introversion) was especially interesting.

On comfort zones-

  • It eventually gets boring in one’s comfort zone.
  • You don’t grow if you stay in your comfort zone!
  • Are you born with this temperament or can you change it? Is it luck or genetics? You can push yourself out of your comfort zone to an extent.
  • I think there are some limits to what you can set your mind to

On societal expectations and “sales”-

  • Everyone is in sales- you have to be able to sell yourself to everyone you meet. Introverts must learn how to do this comfortably.
  • You have to sell yourself to everyone you meet because you probably want people to like you
  • Conversely, extroverts need to take quiet moments to balance a check book or write an essay.
  • Do you think there are societal expectations not to be alone because that would make you a loser or a spinster?
  • You need balance- you don’t want self-reflection all the time.  

These were just a few highlights from our discussion. Please feel free to add additional thoughts on Quiet in the comments section below.

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